How I’m Prepping for My Wedding: The Final Stretch

Hello, everyone!

What a day to write this post. I woke up with a migraine this morning and went straight back to bed – meds, Wex, water, and Bachelor in Paradise to ease the pain. While I didn’t feel up for much of anything, I was able to 1) get on the phone with the local print shop and confirm my order for printing our wedding invites 2) approve the design for my wedding band (!!!) with our ring guy and 3) make some really cute DIY name cards for the head table. It got me thinking that we are so close to our big day and I’m really proud of how I’ve handled the wedding planning process so far. And I’m happy that it’s been a good experience for Cam and I and that we’ve learned a lot about each other and our marriage through it.

As I was sitting in bed recovering and DIY-ing, Cam even sent me a text saying he was looking into stuff for our honeymoon and was so excited to go back to Ireland with me! (Dying!) We had such an amazing time last year. And yes – back to Ireland we go! At first it seemed “against the rules” to go back to the same place we got engaged for our honeymoon, but the fact is we love Dublin and we feel so at home so many miles away. And how cool is it going to be to go visit the exact spot we got engaged at as husband and wife?! Crazy!! I can’t wait.

So yes, we’re in that final stretch and things are coming together. As you all know, the past couple of years I haven’t been in what feels like optimal health and I can definitely find myself getting bummed about it at times.

I was talking about it with some friends just last night. It’s like, I’m waiting to be “healthy”. To be completely free of pain, completely free of anything that mentally or physically stresses me. And you know what? That is just a really unrealistic picture of what being healthy means.

We’re all going to go through difficult seasons. We’ll have backaches and acne and it’s just a part of life. That doesn’t invalidate the pain that I feel at times or that other people go through, it’s just that I am realizing that I can be a whole person and be fully joyful even if my physical body isn’t always at 100% battery life.

That being said, I do want to feel good on my wedding day, and on my honeymoon. I’m taking steps to make sure I have the things I need around me in case I don’t feel 100% and that is taking the pressure off.

These next few weeks, I’m going to be all into the self care. Doing what works for me. And it’s not a temporary thing, it’s going to be a practice for life. No matter what your circumstances, you deserve self care. Planning a wedding, unemployed, a new mom, 9-5 job, traveling around the world, in your 6th year of higher education – whatever it is.

But I am removing the pressure of perfection.

In this list of steps I am taking, you won’t see meal plans or workout plans. I’m sure if you read this blog enough, you know that that’s not my jam. And you don’t have to be about to get married to have any of this resonate with you! This is serious self-care, serious putting yourself first and loving yourself and I think no matter where you are, we can all use a little bit more of that.

1 // Manage my commitments

I did something the other day I was really proud of. Cam and my friend group wanted to go out for a bar crawl, and I was invited, but I knew I had had a long week with a lot of high pain days and that I had a lot of plans the rest of the weekend. I gracefully bowed out and spent the night at home. At first, I’ll admit I felt silly. I’m home all week – why would I choose to spend Saturday night at home, too? But I really needed that time. To clean my house, to do a face mask, to buy myself dinner, to light a candle, and to rest.

I’m not planning on spending every night in until the wedding like I’m on house arrest, but I am noticing when being social will make me feel good and when it will be too taxing on my body. This is going to look different for you if you struggle with chronic illness or some other disabling circumstance, but it’s important to think about what fills your cup and what doesn’t no matter what your situation.

And sometimes – being out with friends is what I need! I’m really learning how to tune into that better and notice how my needs change.

2 // Regular meals and snacks

This helps my blood sugar and migraines so much. I keep getting stuck at late dinners and it just messes with my body so much, so I’m going to decline late dinners or eat before I go out so I don’t get hangry. I don’t always like to do this because I like to practice being flexible with eating, but this is one thing I’m going to start trying for my health. If you’re familiar with hypoglycemia, then you know a girls gotta eat, haha. (Actually any girl or guys gotta eat, but you see what I’m getting at.)

3 // Rest, rest, rest

I am really aiming for 8 hours of sleep, but my sleep has been pretty poor lately. I’m taking melatonin, but not sure of what else to try – all I know is there are a lot of options out there for me. Meditation before bed, less screens, a cooler room – these are all things I could try.

If I don’t get 8 hours, I make sure to set up time for myself to have quality rest during the day. (I know this can be difficult if you work a 9-5 or if you’re a parent, etc.) But to me, this is either a nap or being in bed resting – not working. Listening to a podcast, watching TV, or reading – those are pretty much the only things that I feel like really let me rest. And no multitasking! It’s ok if you do it in the evening when you’re home from work or if you only have 15 minutes – just try it. I’m speaking both to you and myself haha.

4 // Hydrate!

I kinda hate myself for putting this on here because I feel like it’s so obvious, and I already do a really good job, but someone needed to hear it lol. I’ve started to open up how I look at hydration. It’s definitely 90% about drinking a ton of water – which I love – but I’ve also been making smoothies with berries and spinach and a tonnnnn of water to blend to get a little boost.

5 // No high intensity workouts

This was actually recommended to me by my neurologist and if there was ever a time to not be stubborn and follow his advice – it’s now. I’ve been going to yoga a couple times a week as per usual because I loooove what it does for my mind and spirit, and then on other days I might go to the gym and get on the bike for a bit and do some more low-intensity workouts just to move and feel good. I haven’t yet tried out the lap pool at the Y, but my mom sent me her vintage Speedo and I ordered goggles on Amazon like the dork that I am.

6 // Remember to do my PT exercises

I’ve fallen off the wagon the past couple of weeks because it’s just not something in my normal daily routine, but I know that these really help, so I gotta do them. Might have to send an alarm on my phone for myself! Stretching and foam rolling can be really helpful, too. I’ve gone through periods of trying to do that every day and you can really feel the difference.

7 // Delegating

OK! THIS!!!! I am horrible, HORRIBLE at delegating. Actually I think it is the thing I am worst at. I am 100% the person who will do the whole group project because I really want an A and feel nervous relying on other people. Not even that – I’m sometimes just so worried about inconveniencing other people that I straight up will not ask them!!

I knew that was not going to work for me when it came to the wedding and the wedding day. There are a lot of moving parts and I definitely need a lot of help – specifically with making sure I have food and my medicine and all of that kind of stuff. My therapist was the one who recommended to me that I write out all of the tasks that have to happen for the wedding and pick a point person for each thing. Like who is going to be in charge of having my phone and fielding any calls and texts? Who is going to have my snack and medicine bag? That kind of stuff!

I have so many wonderful people who are constantly offering to help and I’m going to take them up on it. It’s a challenge for me, but I know I can use this season of life to practice accepting and asking for help and really come out on the other side much better and less stressed.

Anything you’re trying to do for yourself right now for self-care? Or have you gotten married and have some advice for me for the wedding day? I’m all ears!