The Second Semester Scaries
Hello my CWH readers – I have missed you dearly!!!
So I haven’t exactly been gone…in fact, I’ve kept my Monday/Thursday blog schedule since finals, butttttt all of those posts were pre-written and pre-scheduled, so I feel like I’ve just been on auto pilot and I’ve missed writing blog posts in real time. I’m still pre-writing and pre-scheduling since the next few weeks will be busy with my move and school starting back up, but I just thought present-day Cristina should pop in for a real, present-day chat with her friends!
First off – THANK YOU!
Because this chica was literally worried sick about getting her wisdom teeth out and you guys were the BEST friends/readers ever! I took to Twitter to ask for positive wisdom teeth experiences the night before I got mine out because I was already starting to have nightmares and just totally freak out. I’m such a baby with anything involving surgery. (Yet, strangely, not scared of needles or shots. Just not a fan of anesthesia or dentist offices.)
The first thing I wanted to do when I got out of surgery was thank you all, so my loopy self took a selfie through my anesthesia-induced ugly cry sesh and posted it on Twitter. Wow, I’m great.
But yeah…thank you.
So I’m currently curled up in my bed distracting myself from the fact that I can’t eat any of the chips that are in my pantry by blogging away my latest thoughts.
Now that the holidays and my big wisdom teeth venture are over, I’ve got something big to focus on that I kind of wish would just go away for a little while longer: second semester is coming up.
The other night, Cam was driving me home from his house and it was about 7:30 p.m. and it was pretty dark out. Maybe I was a little loopy on my Tylenol with codine, but I looked up through the windshield and thought I saw, against the sky, this building that is by my old apartment. It’s an office building with a couple red lights on the top (probably for airplanes to avoid it or something) and I see it going to the grocery store, coming home from school, and when I head to my favorite coffee shop to study. I instantly felt that same sinking feeling in my chest that you do whenever you drive up to Chick-fil-A on a Sunday and realized it’s closed or when McDonald’s tells you for the 5th time that their ice cream machine is broken.
Ugh – don’t take me back to the city! I don’t want to go back to school life!
But, alas, it was just a cell phone tour or something, and I was on some pretty heavy pain medication.
But that did get me thinking – Why am I dreading going back to school so much?
In the spirit of a new year and being more positive and joyful in 2017, I don’t need to rehash the details of this school year. Not that it was terrible or traumatic in any way, it was just hard. A new school, a new city, living alone, and a hard course load….yeah I’d say that’s grounds for a “craving-Chick-fil-A on a Sunday” kind of heartache.
Maybe you are having similar palpatations as you get emails from professors about ordering textbooks or when you open your closet to don that cute new pair of boots you got from Santa and you see your backpack gathering dust in a corner. So you know what....we’re in this together!
How can we stop these second semester scaries??
Alright, look. We did not pop champagne and stay up way past our bedtime New Years Eve just to throw away our New Years Resolutions of having a happier 2017. Maybe 2016 you might have dreaded going back to school and you might have sat there endlessly retweeting passive internet memes, but stop yourself right there! Be positive. Use those resolutions you made to change your perspective on a new semester. This is the perfect time to chase your goals. One of my resolutions was to fear less, so I’m going to not fear driving into town as much. I’m not going to be scared of walking into a new class or learning a new subject. If you can say “new year, new me”, then let’s see it. You have to show this semester who’s boss.
Make an action plan. Maybe last semester was sucky because you didn’t really make any good friends or find a good hobby. I hear from a lot of college girls, especially ones in their first years, who are unhappy because they left great friends in high school and just haven’t found that group again. Push yourself to build new relationships this semester. I think something that will make my semester a lot better is getting together with friends. I tend to hole up in my apartment because I’m scared I won’t study enough, but I have to remember that sometimes and hour-long coffee date is much more beneficial then getting ahead on notes.
Maybe you get homesick a lot. I’m totally right there with you! If anything, I’m more homesick now than when I lived 9 hours away from home because things are more stressful and the city is just so different. Sit down with your family before you go back to school and plan out when you will come home and/or when they will come visit you. You know your limits; you know how long you can go before you really need a home cooked meal or to see your boyfriend or dog. Save your money for plane tickets or gas money, and be intentional about your needs to come home when you need to.
And lastly, maybe you’re just pretty freaked about adulting. I get you. In a sense, I’ve been dreading this semester since I first started college. I don’t want to be a second semester junior who declares her minor, takes 15 hours, starts thinking about graduation, and applies for internships. That’s a little scary! I don’t really know exactly what I want to do and what I love and The Devils Wears Prada scarred me for life when it comes to internships. (Kidding…kinda.)
But why go at it like that? Dreading it? No one expects you to know exactly what you’re doing whether you’re a freshman in high school or a senior in college. All you can give each day and each new venture is your best, and then you just need to come home, slap on a face mask, and be a loving person to your friends and family. If you can manage that, then you’re doing pretty well. So don’t get too wound up!
The semester, we’ll have a lot of little chats on the blog about self-care, letting go, and giving our all. I’m excited for what’s in store and I’m ready to enjoy the end of winter break before ringing in a new semester!
Let me know your goals for the semester down below!